Easter Perfume – Vinegar, Horseradish and Sausage Casings

The Saturday before Easter belongs to my Grandmother. When I was young I never realized how courageous she was. She was born in Lithuania and came by herself to the United States when she was only sixteen. Her passage out of Lithuania came about through an arranged marriage with a man almost twice her age, a man she did not love. He represented her chance for a better life in a country that made dreams come true. When she got here, she immediately set out to break the arrangement and found a respectable gentleman by the name of Apolian who would “buy” her out of her contract. She fell in love with Apolian and married him. When I think about what I was like at the age of sixteen, I can’t even begin to imagine having the courage and tenacity to do what she did. Heck, I didn’t get married until I was thirty-two because I never felt mature enough for that leap. She was married at sixteen and had four children by the time she was twenty-three!

my grandmother's wedding picture

My grandmother and grandfather on their wedding day.

But my most cherished memory of my grandmother is the Saturday before Easter. Living in a middle class Polish and Lithuanian neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago involved many hard and fast traditions, one being how holidays were celebrated. And although Christmas was the big one, Easter had its own uniqueness. Early Easter Saturday morning the preparations for the holiday meal began. First two big pots full of eggs were put on the stove and boiled. And no respectable Easter meal with hard boiled eggs could be eaten without homemade horseradish. My grandmother would then go on the back porch, open all of the windows and begin the painful process of grating the horseradish. Now if you’ve ever made homemade horseradish you know that the fumes when you are grating the root can choke a horse. It is pretty powerful stuff, the best sinus cleaning medicine around. And there she would sit, windows open, tears flowing down her cheeks making that delightful and pungent condiment for the hard boiled eggs.

By that time I would ramble downstairs to assist with what came next, coloring the eggs. My grandmother always used the egg coloring that came in various small bottles. You would fill up a bowl of water, put drops of the coloring in the water and mix the colors with a toothpick. Then, one by one, you would put an egg in one of the circular wire spoons and slowly move the egg around in the mixed colors. No egg came out the same but all had a wide range of colorful patterns and designs. But the most memorable part of that process was the smell of vinegar. For some reason vinegar is an ingredient used in the coloring process and when I close my eyes and remember coloring those eggs I can smell the vinegar and I can see my grandmother. It was her special Easter perfume and the memory of that has stayed with me all of my life.

Homemade bread was a must at those meals and that was made on Good Friday. The last piece of hard work was making the homemade Polish sausage. My grandmother would grind the meat, add the seasoning and the pull the sausage casings out of the refrigerator. It never occurred to me to ask what sausage casings were (and I later found out they were a collagen layer of cow intestines) but they were these slimy cylindrical things that held the sausage in a link form. I vividly remember my grandmother removing the grinding disc from the grinder, putting the opening of one end of the casing on the open end of the grinder and using her belly and a wooden spoon to push the sausage into the casing. I can see it as if it were yesterday.  Link after link being created with belly power and a wooden spoon, all for the family, all for the traditional Easter meal.

Sometimes I wonder why we remember certain things and why we forget others. I’ve never understood why but every year on the day before Easter I can see so clearly my grandmother making the sausage and I can smell so clearly the scents of vinegar and the horseradish. When I was little I never realized the great gift that my grandmother was giving me, and now that I am older I thank her every year for giving me the memory of making the sausage and her special Easter perfume of horseradish and vinegar.  Happy Easter!

Easter and Memories of Ben Hur

For most people, the movie that conjures up Easter memories is The Ten Commandments. Every Easter you can count on seeing the Epic story of Moses and Ramses brought to life by Charlton Heston and Yul Brynner. But another Charlton Heston movie captures my Easter memories, and that movie is Ben Hur.

I remember seeing Ben Hur with my entire family at the Michael Todd when I was eight years old. At the risk of sounding ancient, in those days going to the movies was a big event, especially seeing an epically produced movie like Ben Hur , Gone With The Wind, or Camelot. Those movies were over three hours long and when you went to see them it was like seeing a Broadway play. The movie had an overture and an intermission. Yes, you would have about a 10 minute opportunity mid-movie to get up, use the facilities, get some more popcorn or whatever. It was the art of creating an theatrical experience through film and as a young girl I was captivated.

I had never seen anything like it before, the music, the grandeur the conflict, the spectacle. Watching the story of two boyhood friends, one a Roman and one a Jew, grow into men and into enemies. The movie chronicles the story of the Roman oppression of the Jews and one of the side plots is the story of Jesus Christ. Ben Hur chronicles the life of Judah Ben Hur beginning with his life of wealth and privilege and moving to his loss of wealth, the imprisonment of his mother and his sister, his sentence to be a galley slave and his downward spiral into hatred and despair. In the end it is Jesus Christ that saves him and reunites him with his family. The movie begins with the birth of Christ and ends with His death and the redemption of mankind.

I remember sitting in my seat watching the miracle of redemption and feeling so convinced that the teachings of the Catholic Church were absolute. Unfortunately time and experience have shaken those beliefs but a glimmer  of faith remains in the seed of Ben Hur. Many times in my life I have been disillusioned by things I once believed in so strongly. Many times I questioned why certain things have occurred, why bad things happen to good people, why I was hurt deeply or deeply hurt others. In those moments, my mind flashes to the very end of the movie when Ben Hur comes home to Esther no longer angry and bitter but with peace in his heart and he says, “it was as if He took the sword from my hand.”

Many times in my life I prayed to have the sword taken from my hand, and I have to say it always was. So although I may not have blind faith, I do believe that there is someone watching over me. And every Easter, I think about sitting between my mother and father at the Michael Todd Theatre and seeing Ben Hur. I am grateful they gave me the gift of that movie and I am grateful that throughout my life God has always taken the sword from my hand.

Royal Wedding – Prelude to a Royal Let Down?

If you’re like me, you probably have had your fill already about the royal wedding. Day after day, insipid article after insipid article tracing the parade route, what Kate bought for the honeymoon, her diet, why Prince William will not be wearing a wedding band, the history of Westminster Abbey, and on and on and on.

I vividly remember when Diana and Charles got married. I admit I got all caught up in the fairy tale nature of it all. How romantic that a young girl could find the prince of their dreams and they could get married and live happily ever after. And we all know how that one turned out. And here we are again, pinning our hopes on romance and getting sucked into wedding fever. Not me this time. Does it mean that I am jaded or just older and wiser?

I have to say there are many factors about this wedding that give me a glimmer of hope that this marriage can have a go of it. I love the fact that the two of them have lived together and had some sort of an extended private life together before they decided to go into the public fray. I like the fact that William was not required to marry an aristocratic virgin. Now there’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one as well as a throw back to the dark ages. I like the fact that it appears that Kate is more mature than Diana was and that she is handling the spotlight with poise. I have to say I really like the fact that William gave Kate his mother’s ring. I think it says something about how much his mother meant and still means to him. So have they learned from the past or are cultural norms more relaxed and they have become much more media savvy?

These people live a life that we cannot even hope to understand, a life of extreme privilege. Can you imagine what it would be like to have someone who everyday squeezes the toothpaste on your toothbrush for you? That’s just humdrum day-to-day life for Prince Charles. Can you imagine having three chauffeurs always at your beckon call? Just humdrum day-to-day life for Queen Elizabeth. Can you imagine having the cobblestones outside of the church were you are to be wed vacuumed? Just humdrum day-to-day life for the royals. So with these types of privileges, what are the rules of the game for royal marriage? Does it mean a stiff upper lip and discretion, or do the normal everyday rules apply?

I would hope for the normal everyday rules, but they do not lead a normal everyday life. So, all I can do is wish William and Kate my best. Their lives will never be the same and although fraught with privilege will be under a constant microscope. I hope they make a go of it, I hope it works, but I just can’t get sucked into it like I did before and I can’t wait until April 30th when we can move on from it all.

So Long School of Journalism

In its infinite wisdom, the University of Colorado Board of Regents decided yesterday to phase out the School of Journalism. Citing reasons of dwindling enrollment and not being afraid to blaze new trails with more innovative programs, they decided the journalism program was no longer relevant. And why not, I mean after all we are a nation of great writers, right?

What were they thinking? The art of writing a simple declarative sentence is going down the same path as All My Children – canceled. After all, when we can truncate things by using such nifty abbreviations like u, r, LMAO, TTYL and my favorite WTF, we don’t need to write the old fashioned way anymore. At the risk of sounding somewhat stodgy, I rather enjoy something that is well thought out and well written. The skill and creativity needed to create interest, hold someone riveted, make someone laugh or simply tell a good story is, I fear, fading into the sunset. Or maybe the sun has already set.

And above and beyond that precious skill, simple rules of English are consistently being murdered these days. Knowing the difference between there and their, when to correctly use which or that, the difference between your and you’re – these and many more basic concepts have long gone by the wayside.

Take for example some fun little games that people post on their status on Facebook – something like “You wake up in the morning and come down to the kitchen. There are only two people in the room, you and me, and there is only one cup of coffee. In four words, tell me what you would say.”  And you see replies like: “This one’s not yours” or “You’re not drinking this”. HELLO! This one’s not yours is five words as “one’s” is a contraction for one is – and the same with you’re not drinking this, you’re is a contraction for you are. Drives me insane!

And, how about the young woman who posted on her Facebook status that “Today the United States attacked Labia”. I used all the restraint I could muster not to make some smart aleck comment about that – just too ripe for the asking. And you see things like this over and over again. How do all of these people pass their English courses? Do we teach basic writing anymore? Do we teach English anymore?

I guess not. And I guess we don’t teach journalism anymore either. What CU is saying with their recent decision is that writing, among other journalistic endeavors, is just not relevant. So @ University of Colorado, all I can say is WTF! R U kidding me? When I herd you’re decision I LMFAO. TTYL. =-/

There is a little bit of Erica Kane in all of us…

Northern Illinois University, 1969-1973 – lunch time at the student union, lunch with All My Children. Since my college days I have downplayed the fact that I have been an All My Children fan. From the time I had control of my academic schedule I made sure that the noon hour was not scheduled so that I could eat lunch in Pine Valley. From the early days and the romance of Philip Brent and Tara, to Tad the Cad, Jenny and Greg, Jessie and Angie and Kendall and Zach, I religiously followed the lives and dirty deeds of the residents of Pine Valley.

Now I know that, at heart, this is trash TV but over the years there were story lines that gripped me and some acting that was actually superb. Who could ever forget James Mitchell (RIP) as Palmer Courtland and my all time favorite David Canary as Adam Chandler. And although she will probably never win an Academy Award, Susan Lucci as Erica Kane defined that show almost from the beginning. I don’t think there is a person alive that on one day or another didn’t wish they could step into those shoes and say or do the things that Erica did. All you need to say is the name Erica, and everyone knows who you mean. That is creating quite a brand and quite an achievement!

The comings and goings of the residents of Pine Valley have been a part of the fabric of my life. I watched the series when it was in black and white and only a half hour long, rejoiced when it became an hour long series and filmed in color and loved the transition to high definition. Beautiful people are beautiful people high definition or not. And today ABC announced that the show will be canceled with episodes airing through September of this year.

Another ending. I can’t say that I did not see it coming. My husband actually called it a few weeks back. The era of the stay-at-home mom who gets respite from her tedious life by living vicariously through soap opera characters is gone and has been gone for a long time. Viewing habits have changed – today All My Children is gone tomorrow the daily newspaper.  And in the end is all about one thing – making money.  I am surprised it held on for as long as it did.

So, thank you All My Children. It has been a glorious ride. I will never forget Pine Valley and its many residents over the years. Thank you for the laughter, the tears, the escape. And life goes on…

Why Can’t A Woman Be More Like A Man

This famous Henry Higgins lament seems to be validated time and time again in the business world.  As Henry sees it – “Why is thinking something women never do? And why is logic never even tried? Straightening their hair is all they ever do. Why don’t they straighten up the mess inside?”

Men seem to have had this question plague them since the dawn of time. Yesterday when I was in the car with my husband coming back from Home Depot, he turned the radio on to listen to one of his favorite programs – the Tom Martino show. Now this guy does do some good things, but yesterday I was ready to pull him through the radio and beat him upside the head. Because yesterday he was waxing so eloquently on what he termed as the “girl code”.

As Martino put it, the girl code consists of things like: why is it that a girl has to ask permission of another girl to go out with their former boyfriend once they have broken up – or did you know that girls have to get together in even numbers because girls will pair up and someone will be left out – he even had a caller who asked him at what age to girls go to “bitch” school (and then he changed the word to bit because in his infinite wisdom he did not think the word bitch could be used on the air) and of course then they got on the subject of hormones. Now I love a good joke just like everyone else, but to put that drivel on the airwaves when we still have men telling women to “doll up and wipe the dust off of your makeup if you want to get ahead” it totally irresponsible in my mind. When you are looked upon as a public figure and have the ability to influence a great number of people by the medium you use, you have a responsibility to think about what you are saying and how it can perpetuate bad behavior.

And then I was given an article today (the link to it is at the end of my rant) about an eight year study that chronicled the careers of 132 Stanford MBA graduates, more than half of whom were women, to determine their gender related characteristics and how that related to them getting ahead in the workplace. No surprises there since the study found that “although masculine women are seen as more competent than feminine women, they are also seen as less socially skilled and consequently, less likeable and less likely to be promoted.

So, on one end we verbally lambast women for the “girl code” and on the other hand we don’t promote them when they take on more masculine characteristics because they are less likeable. Once again the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome rears its ugly head for women. The study goes on to say that the key to success or failure for women in business is to know when to lay on the aggression, selectively from the start. “You need to be an amateur anthropologist, go into the situation and really pay attention very carefully to what is really happening.”

So I suggest you read the article for yourself. And share it with a male counterpart to really get the conversation going.

When A Woman Should Act Like A Man – CNN Article

 

Solve the Federal Budget Crisis – Cut the Arts!

One of the considerations on the table to “solve” the federal budget crisis is to cut all federal funding to the arts. Here we go again. We’re talking somewhere in the area of 160 Million, chump change in relation to the overall federal deficit. I am always amazed that these types of programs are on the chopping block, especially since the arts represents the humanity of our culture and that of all others as well.

What the brain trusts on capital hill are choosing to forget is that this money, although seemingly small, provides not only funding for arts organizations but seed money for these organizations to receive other grants. In listening to an interview with Kevin Spacey today, if this 160 Million is cut, it can result in an estimated overall funding cut of approximately one billion dollars to the arts.

Spacey talked about the value of the arts – the impact they have on a person’s life. How the arts can grow self esteem, how the arts can create confidence. Hello! Haven’t I just spent about a week waxing on the magic of the Hiawatha Park program. Haven’t I heard from folks what an impact a program like that had on people’s lives.  And this was just a small theatre and dance program on the Northwest Side of Chicago. We are talking some major arts organizations that can lose their funding.

But, having spent 34 years working in local government I learned long ago that you never win a budget battle by arguing quality of life. Everyone agrees in principle that the arts improve quality of life. But politicians deal in the reality of dollars and cents. So let’s talk about that. Most cities support arts centers because they are good for the local economy. Not only do people attend performances, but while they do so they also eat at local restaurants, shop local stores, stay in local hotel rooms and spend money that helps to sustain local economies. Many urban areas have been revitalized not as shopping districts but as art districts because the arts dollar tends to generate dollars for other enterprises as well.

In Spacey’s interview he cites a very interesting fact. Do you know what the biggest tourist attraction is in the United States. Broadway! So arts tourism dollars benefit the economy locally, nationally and internationally. Arts dollars breed dollars, always have always will. So why would you not want to invest in a sector of our economy that can generate additional dollars and help keep our economy strong? The logic for cutting funding to the arts escapes me, but with the size of our federal deficit it does not surprise me that business acumen is a skill virtually non-existent in Washington, D.C.

Spacey went on to talk about how Abraham Lincoln knew the value of the arts and although he was assassinated in a theatre, Lincoln quite often went to the theatre to escape the hardships of leading during the Revolutionary War. He also talked about some research he had done on Winston Churchill. He said that during the Second World War as funding was getting tight Churchill was told that in order to continue funding military initiatives funding to the arts would have to be cut. Churchill’s reply was succinct and brilliant. He said, “Then what are we fighting for?”

There is so much other waste in our government’s spending but politicians like to try to take the easy way out whenever they can. Don’t let them. Contact your representatives and senators and tell them to look elsewhere to cut the budget. It may be just your voice, but aren’t the arts worth it?

Kevin Spacey interview

The Past – Blessing or Curse?

As many of you already know, I will be turning 60 in May and I think, because of that, I have spent a lot of time recently talking about the past. Is that what happens as you get older – you rely on your past to feed your present? I’m not entirely sure but feel it necessary to explore the idea.

This past week I have connected with three entirely new people on Facebook all who played a part of my past at Hiawatha Park. And it was great to hear about their lives to see how they’ve changed and to explore the bonds we made that were built many, many years ago. Those bonds are strong and will never be broken. I think it is safe to assume that they will be carried with all of us for the rest of our lives. But to what degree do these experiences shape your life, and is it healthy to continue to dwell on them?

I teach a class on Women and Leadership and a key component of the class is to look at the history of barriers that women have faced in terms of achieving their leadership goals. I learned over the course of my life that in order to better understand who we are now and how we arrived at the circumstances we face, it is important to go back in history and see what it can tell us. History provides information, understanding, tolerance and context. It helps to create a clearer picture of the present and a better awareness of the reasons for what currently exists. It can play a variety of roles from education to acceptance to peace. It has valuable lessons to teach.

Mount Sanitas - Boulder, CO.

So when I recently took a major voyage down memory lane cruising through the straits of Hiawatha Park, it taught me that many of the things that I like about myself now – that I am proud that I accomplished – that I learned the hard way – were rooted in the work and relationship experiences I had there. And I have to say, I am pretty darned blessed. I’ve had wonderful challenging work experiences in both Ohio and Colorado after leaving Chicago. I was able to retire comfortably at 58 and now spend my time only doing what I love to do. I live in one of the more beautiful areas of our country and I still am able to have that connection to wonderful people and experiences in my past – what more can a person ask for?

So, don’t worry about me. I may be turning 60 but nowhere near ready to be pushing up the daisies. In the words of Conrad Birdie “I got a lot of livin’ to do” and I intend to do it. This recent journey back in time only solidified that in my mind. And it is a journey well taken. I suggest you book your own personal cruise as soon as you can, and I hope it is as  wonderfully memorable. Believe me, it is worth every penny!

Twenty-Three Years Ago This Month…

It’s April and the promise of Spring is in the air. Spring is a time of renewal, a time of change, a time that holds very powerful memories for me. You see, it was Spring, twenty-three years ago in April when I said goodbye to Hiawatha Park. Over the past several days I posted on Facebook some clips from a tape that was given to me when I left Hiawatha Park – the tape included memories of shows we had done with pictures that had been taken, video clips and even some creative editing to some very special songs. These posts have raised questions from some of my newer friends as to what Hiawatha Park was and about the Theatre and Dance Program we had.

For my parks and recreation friends, the Chicago Park District does not use terms the way they are used in most of our profession.  Most of you know the term park to connote a piece of land that is used for active or passive recreational purposes. And although that was part of Hiawatha Park, in the Chicago Park District, the term is also used to represent the recreation center that is on the grounds of the park. So the park and the recreation center both go by the same name, Hiawatha Park. Simple, easy and yet the words Hiawatha Park have a meaning far beyond a tract of land and a building for me and a whole bunch of people that I know.

It was at Hiawatha Park that I came of age. I changed from someone who was floundering to someone with a purpose. And although I was basically dragged into that job kicking and screaming, I left it so thankful that I had the opportunity to have the experience of a lifetime. There I had the opportunity to work with some of the best and brightest young people I will ever know. We loved each other, we fed off of each other’s energy and together we created magic. It was magic so powerful that it still resonates in all of our lives. We grew up together, worked together, played together, loved together and parted ways together. A core group has stayed in touch with me over the years and there were many others that simply went on with the business of living their lives.

But whether we were in contact or not, it did not matter. I carried each and every one of those young people in my heart wherever I went. I always had pictures of them in my office prominently displayed and whether I was in Chicago, Ohio or Colorado, they came with me and provided me strength, purpose and some of the best memories anyone could ever have. And with the dawn of Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with some that I never thought I would see or hear from again. That just happened again today, and I cannot tell you the joy it brings to me every time it happens.

So if you are wondering what Hiawatha Park was, for me and a whole bunch of people it is a bond that will never be broken, memories that will forever be cherished and one of the more precious gifts anyone of us will ever receive. Click on the link below and you can experience for yourself some of the magic.

Hiawatha Park Memories.