Some perspective…

Yesterday I finished getting everything out of my mother’s apartment that I wanted. So her place looks neat and clean and ready for the estate manager to being the process of selling what’s left. I wish I could say the same about my house. I have piles of stuff that I took from her apartment both in the basement and in the office. I did not have the time to sort through things at her apartment and have it ready so that I could go back to work today. So I’ve moved stuff and now I have piles.
I was not going to stop to see my mom yesterday, but when I called her she seemed pretty confused and she sounded like she was speaking with a thick tongue. So, I stopped by for a few minutes. I can always tell when she is not 100% lucid – the look in her eyes is sort of glazed over and she cannot seem to focus in on anything.
Today I spoke to the hospice nurse about it – I wondered if by chance someone had given her too much medication or inadvertantly changed the dosage. She said she would check, but she also said that these bouts of la la land are also part of the cancer process even without changes in the medication.
My mom is also having some problems with the development of some bed soars on her butt. Pat, the hospice nurse, said that this is a common occurence with cancer patience – it is the effect that cancer has on the skin making it almost paper thin. My mom definitely has that.
Pat said to be thankful for the lucid times, because they will be interspersed with dillusionary times, and that this was common. It was just that my mom had come off of a three week run of being tremendously  lucid. Every once in a while the danger that is lurking behind rears its ugly head.
So, at least mom’s apartment is ready for the next phase of the close down process, and I have a boat load of stuff to sort through. My mom saved old greeting cards and other mementos, but what really surprised me is that she saved all of the old nursing home bills and medicare receipts from when my grandmother was in the nursing home. My grandmother died quite a few years ago – I am not sure why she saved all of those bills. Needless to say, the shredder got a good meal yesterday an probably more to come.
I went back to work today, and that was a new kind of tired. But, I am glad to be back at work. I will be in sporadically this month as I will still need to take Nick to some follow-up doctor’s appointments and I will still have some things to handle closing down my mother’s apartment. I see the end of August as a milestone. Once I have closed down that apartment, that will be a big relief.

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