Today I went back to work after being off for a month. I never thought that on a Sunday night I would actually be thinking about looking forward to going back to work on Monday – but I did.
It was great to do something that had a sense of routine – a sense of "normalcy". Everyone was so sweet – so many people commented on the fact that it was nice to see my car in the parking lot again.
Before all of this happened, I was in the habit of calling my mom every day – once on the way to work and once on the way home. So, when I got in the car, I hooked up my bluetooth ear piece and called mom. It was unbelievable. Today, she was more lucid than she has been in a long time. It was almost like she was home in her apartment and I was doing my usual weekday routine.
Later in the morning Pat, the hospice nurse, called me to report on my mother. She confirmed how well my mom was doing today and she said she thought the new medication regime that hospice prescribed may be a contributing factor. I was just so glad to have mom back – and I intend to enjoy it for whatever precious moments I may have it.
I called mom on the way home from work and she was just as lucid, if not more, than she was when I called her this morning. We talked about work, we talked about her sister coming for a visit, and she wanted to make sure that all the arrangements had been made to pick up my aunt at the airport and to get her to the apartment, pick up the rental car and map out directions to the nursing facility. I was blown away that she was thinking with that degree of detail. She also appeared to be in a good mood and positive about getting stronger.
I am so grateful that we are having this glimpse of time with her. I hope that she can stay this way until Thursday and beyond when my aunt arrives. I called my aunt to let her know the good news, and she was so happy to hear that mom was doing better. It is a small but also a very big blessing.
I told my mom that her condition today eased for me the anxiety of going back to work. I know she is happy about me going back because she does not want her situation to jeapordize my job in any way. And, I know she is aware of the stress I have been under and she wants to see it as minimized as possible.
So today was as normal as it can get under the circumstances. I told people at work that the one thing that I’ve learned so far is that difficult situations like this really put the pressures of work into perspective. All of the things that we get worked up about or that seem so significant pale in the light of dealing with the life and death issues regarding your loved ones. So bring on the prairie dog issues, the mosquito spraying issues, or even the contentious opinions about our department’s master plan recommendations – because in the scheme of things, it’s just a job.