Things appear to be moving at a clip right now. Today we had a doctor’s appointment to do some blood work on Nick to determine if he could have surgery on his ankle tomorrow. Then it was phone calls to the insurance company to determine all of the paperwork needed to document my mother’s care so that we can begin to access her long term care benefits. Then it was off to mom’s apartment to start the process of getting things prepared so that the apartment can be vacated by the end of August.
At the apartment, I put aside everything that I would take, checked with my brother who only wants two things, a wall hanging and a picture of my mother, I checked with my aunt and I know what she wants, then I called my mom’s best friend and she showed me what she wanted.
I got some information from the woman who manages my mother’s building. She said there was a flee market in town that would come and look at the furniture, clothing, etc. and make an offer. If I accepted it, they would come and pick it up. I have an appointment with them on Wednesday morning. Then the hospice thrift shop might be interested in some things, and after that I will call the Longmont Senior Center and see if they have some ideas or resources that can help.
After that, both Nick and I went to visit mom for a few minutes. Then it was off to rent some crutches for him for after his surgery tomorrow. And then, finally home.
I took pictures of my mom’s apartment, but I left the camera there. I will go back on Wednesday (maybe tomorrow depending on Nick and his surgery) and then I will post them on this website. My mom really loved that apartment and she really enjoyed living there. It was hard to take those pictures, and I know it will be very hard when I walk out of that apartment for the last time. Right now, I really don’t have a lot of time to dwell on that, but every once in a while the thought creeps into my brain, and it is gut wrenching.
This morning, my mom was a little dilusionary. When I called her this morning she said "Guess what, Jan. Sister Teresita (my aunt from Chicago) came to visit me. We had such a nice talk, and then she got tired so now she is sleeping in my bed." I told her Sister Teresita was not there but she insisted that she was. Then finally she asked me if I wanted her to wake Sister Teresita up to prove it to me. I said yes and she called Sister Teresita’s name two times. Then she said, " Oh, oh, I guess she really isn’t here, is she?" I said know and assured her that I would let her know when she was having halucinations.
She is on some additional medication because she developed a kidney infection. The hospice nurse told me that that most likely was the cause of her confusion, and that medication related confusions generally occur early in the morning and late at night. When I visited mom this afternoon, we had a good laugh about her halucination and she was just fine.
But, it’s hard not to be aware that there is this cloud hanging over us and someday it is going to burst. While we we there, she talked about the fact that everyday between 3-4pm, the pain around her waist seems to start building up and she has to call the nurse for a Vicadin. She called the nurse while we were there, got the pill and before I left she said the pain was completely gone. But it just serves as a reminder that it is there, lurking underneath the mask of medication, and that it will eventually get stronger and require stronger medication. Sometimes you wonder how long you have. I really try to suppress those thoughts and enjoy what I have for however long I will have it.
So tomorrow, surgery and more moving. I am hoping the get a lot handled this week so that I will only have to take isolated days off to complete the move and get back to work. In some ways, there appears to be a light at the end of the tunnel, and in other ways, it seems like I am just entering the tunnel.
It is so much better than when this all started, though. And no one is more grateful for that then I. What is happening now, I can handle. Before, it almost seemed too much. One day at a time – my new favorite motto.