A much quieter night

Well, it is Sunday night and I am sitting in my overstuffed chair in my family room. The movie "Something’s Gotta Give" with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson is playing in the background. Nick is sleeping, Mia is laying at my feet and the cats are in the bedroom. All’s quiet, and I grateful for that.

The last few days have been very stressful, but I made it through. It seems I always do.

When I was in Urgent Care with Nick on Friday and they came back to say he had a broken ankle, I lost it. The staff there was great – they were very concerned about me and they reminded me that I have to take care of myself. Part of that is finding some help to help me deal with the mental and emotional strain I am under.

This week I am going to research a therapist for me. I think that that will be helpful. I had someone tell me yesterday that because I am so independent, that I put pressure on myself to do everything and to solve everything. She told me she thinks I may have forgotten how to ask for help. I think she was right.

I have always prided myself on being able to handle anything – but this situation has really tested me on a variety of different levels. I’ve never been good at failure – and I don’t think failure is even the right word. Maybe that’s the problem. A person doesn’t fail because they need help or they become overwhelmed. I guess contrary to popular belief, I am not superhuman after all. And you know what, I don’t want to be – that’s way too hard for me.

Today I went to see a mindless movie – My Super Ex-Girlfriend. I knew it would be fluff, but it also stars and actor that I like – a guy by the name of Luke Wilson. Luke had a great part in the movie "The Family Stone." (BTW, if you haven’t seen The Family Stone – see it. It stars Diane Keaton – there she is again – Sarah Jessica Parker and others including Luke Wilson) He played the rebel child – Diane Keaton, his mom, greets him at the door as he is coming home for the Christmas holiday and immediately tells him there will be no pot smoking in the house and that this year for Christmas, clothing is not optional as they have a guest in the house. So that sets the stage for the prodigal son returning home to have Christmas with the rest of his siblings. Anyway, not get too far off of the track, but The Family Stone is a great story about family relationships and family hardship.

So, I saw this movie today, and I was surprised – it was pretty corny but it was funnier and more clever than I thought it would be. I am not recommending anyone to go and see it – but it was perfect for getting out and getting your mind off of things. Now, if you really want fun and a great movie – see Pirates of the Carribean. It’s great – and although I am not a Johnny Depp fan – he is phenomenal in the movie.

The point of this movie tangent is that I did take some time today to do some stuff for myself and it felt good. There is something about being out in the world doing "normal" things and experiencing other people doing "normal" things that is very therapeutic. I remember when I flew down to see my dad right after he had his injury (that caused him to be quadreplegic), I remember going to a restaurant with my mom that evening and being grateful just to sit there and watch and listen to people having normal conversations and doing normal things because the stress of seeing my dad injured in that way was a little more than I could take.

I certainly hope when things level off that I don’t forget to enjoy and appreciate the every day things I do – they signify that life is moving along in a way that is not traumatic and that is something to truly be thankful for.

So, it appears that I am rambling, but that is what is going through my mind this evening as I am enjoying and really appreciating the solitude. I am thankful for this time – very thankful. And as Scarlett O’Hara so prophetically opined, tomorrow is another day!