On Tuesday there will be a memorial service for mom at the Peaks Care Center. The staff from the center and her friends from her apartment building are invited to share memories about mom.
I took some time today and printed up some pictures of her to display at the service. I am also bringing some chocolate, so that everyone who comes gets a piece of chocolate on mom. Anyone who knew mom knew about her passion for chocolate.
It will be nice to have this closure – and it will be nice to hear the stories that everyone has to tell. The one recurring theme I hear about mom is about her very infectious personality – how she drew you in, made you feel important and most of all made you laugh.
I take it one day at a time now – every day is an adventure – I never know how I will feel or what will make me react. But everyday I tell myself to continue to move forward and I now she is there with me helping me along.
I finally listened to one of my favorite Christmas CD’s today – The Carpenters. It was a favorite of both mine and mom’s and I had a hard time making myself listen to it. It brought a lot of tears as I was riding in the car – but I was glad to finally hear it.
The holidays are getting closer and I know I will be ok. I really do feel her at times, giving me strength and pusing me to move forward. I also feel that she is happy and at peace – I don’t know why I feel it, but I do.
And I got a sign – this week as I was driving to work – Barney appeared. Barney is a mule that I would always see on the way to work and since I would call my mom every morning, I would always tell her about him and she would always ask about him. Well, I haven’t seen Barney in many months – and I was afraid maybe something had happened to him. But this week – there he was, and I looked up to heaven and I said – "Thanks Mom – thanks for bringing him back." And I know she was smiling down at me.